She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
