He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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