Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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