Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
When are your genitals available?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
