Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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