She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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