Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
