I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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