the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
