just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
