I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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