I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
