Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
