my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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