I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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