just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
