Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
