I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Say something about gay babies.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
