My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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