So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
