he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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