just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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