Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
sex in a hospital.. check
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
