guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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