trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
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