I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
