i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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