the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
