All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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