I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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