Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
