smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
