no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I am one with the molecules
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
