You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
