in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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