It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
