I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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