I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I intend to get homeless drunk
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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