i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
they're like a gay fantastic four
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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