sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
