I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
