quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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