And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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