i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
