There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dick very happy bro
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
