dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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