I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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