so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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