It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
