how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
